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BabylonBee.com<\/p>\n
ATLANTA, GA\u2014Despite getting vaccinated, many concerned liberals want to keep wearing masks to show how concerned they are about fighting the pandemic, despite the masks being completely pointless. To help those liberals out, the CDC has introduced a new article of clothing vaccinated people can wear to let everyone know they\u2019re vaccinated but still really worried about the coronavirus: a special anti-virus hat.<\/p>\n
The new conical, pointed hat, much like masks, uses special science-magic to keep viruses away. It\u2019s called the Device Using Neurological Conical Elements (or DUNCE, for short, and labeled thus) and is perfect for anyone who is vaccinated but still constantly thinking about catching COVID-19.<\/p>\n
\u201cA lot of people just can\u2019t accept that vaccines work,\u201d said Bob CDC, founder and director of the CDC. \u201cSo now we have this special hat for those people to wear everywhere. It loudly declares, \u2018I\u2019m vaccinated but still super scared of the virus.\u2019 Which is exactly the statement liberals want to make.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI never go anywhere without my special hat!\u201d declared concerned liberal Randall Wood. \u201cThough I still wear two masks with it, too, just in case.\u201d He got sad for a moment, though. \u201cThe only problem is it\u2019s too tall to wear when I\u2019m alone in the car.\u201d<\/p>\n
The DUNCE hat does not come in children\u2019s sizes–\u00a0and stop asking for it, you idiots.<\/p>\n