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SCOTLAND\u2014With Biden attending the COP26 climate change conference in Scotland this week, many were concerned that he might poop in his pants again. Fortunately, his Secret Service entourage seems to be prepared this time, as agents were spotted carrying a presidential diaper bag.<\/p>\n
\u201cBiden\u2019s diaper bag is state-of-the-art,\u201d said one anonymous source. \u201cIt is completely bulletproof, fully stocked with extra-large Depends and wipes, equipped with an applesauce dispenser, and has a special pocket for the nuclear football. We don\u2019t expect any further presidential \u2018explosions\u2019 during this trip.\u201d<\/p>\n
Local media in Scotland took photos of Secret Service agents as they loaded diaper bags into Biden\u2019s vehicle.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe categorically deny that Biden has an incontinence problem,\u201d said Jen Psaki to the local press. \u201cHe has never pooped in his pants. In fact, he has never pooped. He has been holding his poop for over two years because he is so dedicated to his job as President. We do not use diaper bags in this administration and to suggest otherwise is a far-right smear.\u201d<\/p>\n
Suddenly, a nearby Secret Service agent called a \u201ccode brown\u201d into the radio, and ran to Biden\u2019s vehicle with a diaper bag as the live feed was cut.<\/p>\n