To: Joe Biden & Kamala Harris
From: ON HIGH
Date: December 14, 2020
Re: STOP THE STEAL
Do you guys have any idea what’s you’ve just done?!
Joe, you’re directly responsible for the biggest election theft in U.S. history.
Kamala, you’re jointly culpable for the greatest vote fraud—EVER!
Together, you guys have plunged the nation into the most serious constitutional crisis since 1789. Now that’s quite a feat for a couple of two-bit fraudsters.
Really, did you guys think you could steal Trump’s HUGE mandate that easily?
Do you still believe you can claim the 80 million votes that he got as you own?
We’re not talkin’ about a little vote fraud here; we’re talkin’ about the election heist of the millennium—the past six millennia, to be exact.
That makes you two the “Bonnie and Clyde” of stolen elections, yes?!?!?! Except that you guys pulled off a lot more robberies and in many more states than they did last century.
You both happy with that moniker—the “Bonnie and Clyde” of stolen elections? The worst election thieves in world history?
Wow! Just WOW ! ! !
Now here’s the problem, Joe and Kamala.
I’m getting a LOT of flack … from a LOT of unhappy souls who think they’ve been cheated big time.
It’s not just a few good souls either—it’s millions of them. It’s tens of millions of unhappy voters down there in “the land of the free and the home of the brave”.
Now the big issue for Me is that they’re prayin’ like mad right now.
They’re prayin’ for what’s right. That what’s true will be revealed. They’re prayin’ for justice. Some are even prayin’ for vengeance, but I remind ’em that’s for Me to do.
Hey, can you blame them? More than half the American electorate just got totally srew*d! And I’m not supposed to use that kind of language.
Now, as top DOG here — you know that “DOG” is “GOD” spelled backward — I gotta serious job to do. A VERY serious job where it concerns the most important election since I made your blue orb eons ago.
You know, I’m expected by everyone to uphold righteousness throughout the realm. We’re talkin’ the entire cosmos, incidentally.
In Earthspeak, that means we gotta maintain law and order, especially in nations that go rogue. Cuz if it really breaks down like it just did on Election Day, the whole place will go to hell in a handbasket.
Look it, I know you two didn’t mean to hurt no one. I get that. But just put yourself in my shoes for a moment.
The Seventh Heaven email system has been constantly crashing because of all the unusually demanding prayer requests.
Facebook and Twitter have constantly shut down our accounts due to overwhelming election truth being shared by the Dominions, Cherubim, Seraphim and Angels.
And Instagram won’t let Cloud Nine post another pic of a Democrat election official caught in the act, if ya know what I mean. Same with Flickr.
Then there’s our YouTube channel. Geez, every single vid of fake ballots being pre-filled out with Joe’s name is taken down faster than you can say V O T E F R A U D !
And that’s not even the worst of it. Our switchboard right next to the Celestial Throne is ringing off the hook. Every single caller wants the real election result made known—NOW ! ! ! ! ! ! !
My Lord! (Oh, that’s Me!) I’ve never seen so many irate callers. They’re ready to storm the heavens and take us all hostage if we don’t right this wrong—and FAST!
Joe … … … Kamala … … … we all know you meant no harm with this ballot robbery of the century—ALL CENTURIES. So let’s figure out what we can do here.
Better yet, let’s make a deal. A good deal. For everyone.
For the sake of not pushing the good ole USA into a full-blown civil war, let’s just call it quits. That would be you, Joe, and you, Kamala. Call it quits.
Joe, you quit calling yourself the President-elect. And, Kamala, you ain’t no VP-elect not now, not ever. Well, “never” might be a bit of a stretch … since maybe in Hades, you will.
Both, please understand, no matter what the electors do today, this election ain’t over … … … UNTIL I SAY IT’S OVER. Got it?!
I sincerely hope I’ve made myself perfectly clear in this regard.
By the way, if you two received as many prayers of supplication that I have since November 3, you’d be writing the same letter.
Back to the deal.
Look, you guys stole this thing like no one has ever seen before.
We’re talkin’ a worldwide RICO-level criminal enterprise that can easily get you both 1000 consecutive life terms before capital punishment is carried out.
Now I don’t want to throw the key away on you guys but you’re forcing my hand, yes?!?!?!
So, here’s the deal.
Today, the day the Electoral College meets to cast their votes, would be an excellent day to simply concede that you lost—MAJORLY!
You didn’t just lose, you got trampled and trounced by Team Trump. We’ve never seen anything like it, and we’ve been watching for countless eternities.
In any event, just give it up. #STOP THE STEAL—NOW! ! ! Not tomorrow. Not next week. Today. Right now!
Really, Joe, you call yourself a Christian; a Catholic, no less. What would Jesus say?! And, you, Kamala, attend a Baptist Church. How can you face your congregation again?!
Needless to say my Son Jesus ain’t happy right now. Haven’t seen Him like this since he drove those money-grubbing moneychangers out of that there Temple.
Okay, now here’s the real deal.
The deal is that I promise not to banish you both to the waterless region of raging hellfire and eternal damnation IF YOU QUIT TODAY!
And, if you don’t concede to your opponent today, the divine retribution only gets worse by the hour. I can’t take the prayer requests anymore; and you got the angels running back and forth from Heaven to Earth like there’s no tomorrow. Just give it up, would you two?
Honestly, did you two ballot bandits think you’d get away scot-free.
At the end of the day, you both gotta know that:
“GOD IS NOT MOCKED”
Not only that, but my good epistle writer St. Paul had more to say about that … at my insistence, of course.
